How To Speak To Your Mind When You’re A Perfectionist
It’s hard to speak to your mind at the best of times let alone if you’re a perfectionist but there is hope!
You’ve probably spent years listening to that voice in your head that tells you that everything has to be perfect, and you can’t do anything until it is.
Let’s be real: perfectionism is a form of procrastination. It’s one thing if it’s keeping you from doing something that has no deadline or purpose. But when perfectionism gets in the way of actually doing something that matters—like finishing your work or making friends with new people—it becomes a problem. And it only gets worse if someone starts telling you that being perfect is the right way of doing things.
Getting stuck in self-doubt and anxiety
When you’re a perfectionist, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety. You can’t help but think that if you don’t do everything perfectly, then you’re not doing anything at all.
This line of thinking is so toxic because it keeps you from being able to enjoy the things that make life worth living. You stop taking risks and trying new things because you’re afraid of failing, or being judged by others for your mistakes. In the end, this fear keeps you from being able to grow as a person—to learn from mistakes and become better at what matters most to you.
Here are three steps I’d recommend taking when you find yourself stuck in this cycle:
- Remind yourself that perfectionism doesn’t exist (or at least not in the way you think it does). Perfectionism is an illusion that we create for ourselves when we focus too much on what could go wrong instead of focusing on what could go right. When you acknowledge this fact, it becomes easier for you to step outside of your own head. You can then let go of those destructive thoughts that hold you back from living your best life.
- Focus on what matters most to YOU rather than what others may want for you. This is sometimes dressed up as being good for you but those expectations are unhelpful. Listen to your own intuition and guidance for what’s important to you and follow through with that.
- Acknowledge your inner critic and address it head-on. Give it a name if you need to but don’t ignore it. Becoming acquainted with how your mind thinks will help you to build more self-awareness so that you can identify triggers more easily.
- Don’t let fear keep you from taking risks, even if those risks involve failure or rejection (which means trying again).
- Stop comparing yourself with others. Instead, focus on improving yourself every day by doing one small thing differently than yesterday!
How to stop being a perfectionist
You’re a perfectionist. You know it, and I know it. (And if I don’t know it, you’re probably already working on that.)
But here’s the thing: whether you want to admit it or not, perfectionism is a form of self-sabotage. It’s a way for you to set yourself up for disappointment by setting unattainable standards and then not achieving them.
Please work through these tips if that sounds familiar and you feel like your perfectionism might be holding you back from being the best version of yourself possible.
If you’re constantly overthinking, second-guessing yourself, and beating yourself up for not being good enough you’ll inevitably start believing that hype! So talk to your mind in ways that tell it who you really are.
Puja McClymont – certified coach, wisdom teacher, speaker and host of the SELF Care 101 podcast.
As a life and leadership coach, I help mission-driven individuals who are seeking direction, to gain clarity, by expanding their inner awareness through the ancient wisdom teachings of Ayurveda and Yoga; so that they can lead more purposeful and fulfilling lives.
Discover tips and insights through my YouTube channel, podcast, blog and email edit.
