We’ve spent so much time of late focussing on saying “no” but what about the importance of saying “yes”?
Imagine all the happiness and joy you could bring to your life, if you were saying “yes” more in your everyday life. This doesn’t mean you have to compromise those boundaries you’ve put in place, it just means knowing when saying “yes” will pay off as more for you.
In this post, I’m going to cover when saying “yes” is an absolute must and how to do it. I’ll also cover when saying “no” will be equally important for your wellbeing.
Having healthy boundaries is very important. You can’t be everything to everyone and you can’t do everything for everyone. Once you have set those boundaries, you can start to look at saying “yes” to opportunities that will essentially bring you joy.
When you’re setting boundaries, you’re in an “I don’t want” mindset. When you move to an “I want” mindset, more opportunities will start to present themselves.
We create boundaries to help with our mental wellbeing and to protect our energy flow. This new space we’ve created can now be used to help us achieve more happiness and fulfilment. However, it can be confusing to know when saying “yes” is the right response and when saying “no” needs to be considered.
As you say more “I want” statements, you’ll start to see more opportunities present themselves. Call this universe, fate, anything you want but if you’re open, you’ll see them. What this means is that your energy can now be used for doing more things that will bring you fulfilment, so saying “yes” will become your new auto-response.
For example, you might want to work less hours in your job. If you focus on working less hours, you’ll end up working more hours. This needs to be re-framed to “I want to have more time to do xyz.” You won’t necessarily see more time straight away but you might find yourself on Linkedin more often, seeing jobs that give you flexible working options that your current job doesn’t.
See how it works? Saying “yes” requires you to be in an “I want” mindset and the more specific you can be towards what you want, the more likely you are to achieve it.
On the flip side of saying “yes” is knowing when to say “no.” In the most simplest of ways, ask yourself, “will saying yes to this bring me joy?” If it does, go ahead and say “yes” but if it doesn’t, trust yourself to say “no.”
Boundaries are healthy but don’t hold onto them so tightly that you don’t see the opportunities that are being presented to you as well.
When you start to see oppportunities that take your fancy, you’ll enivitably want to know all the details. Restrain yourself. You don’t always need to know how something will benefit you from the outset. Sometimes, it’s better to react by saying “yes” and then figuring it out later.
I do it all the time. When I put something out into the universe, in terms of what I want, I get opportunities aligned with those wants. Every time this happens, I just go with the flow (for a bit.) I like to be in control and I like to see how things can work out.
However, when you cling too tightly to the potential outcomes, you suffocate the joy that you could have. My advice to you is to say “yes” and then tell yourself, “I’ll see where this goes.” When you do this, you leave yourself open to possibilities. If you really want what you say you want, you’ll figure it out when the time comes.
Ultimately, saying “yes” is about trusting yourself. Trusting yourself to know when an opportunity appears that is aligned to what you want. Then, taking the mindful decision to say “yes” will help you to discover if it’s what you really want.
If you’re apprehensive about saying “yes” I want you to watch this video by Shonda Rhimes. Shonda Rhimes is the genius behind the TV production company Shondaland who brought us Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and of course, Bridgerton.
I warn you now, this video may change your life – as it has mine – and many of my clients’.
Puja McClymont – certified coach, wisdom teacher, speaker and host of the SELF Care 101 podcast.
As a life and leadership coach, I help mission-driven individuals who are seeking direction, to gain clarity, by expanding their inner awareness through the ancient wisdom teachings of Ayurveda and Yoga; so that they can lead more purposeful and fulfilling lives.
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