When you’re feeling stuck it’s easy to google the hell out of it, searching for answers. You’ll scour a number of web pages, blogs, coaches – all promising you that you can have a complete life transformation in minutes.
Unfortunately, these cannot provide you with the answers. The answers actually lie within you. For a more helpful and strategic way to address why you’re feeling stuck and how to get out of this funk, you’ve come to the right place.
When you’re on your search for the answers to why you’re feeling stuck, I’m sure you’re familiar with the ‘if you do this one thing’ types of content. You can google until you’re blue in the face. In some instances, you may gain some ‘aha’ moments.
The information you read will resonate and you will feel as if you’re doing something. However, in reality, all you are doing is increasing your knowledge about why you’re feeling stuck. If you truly want to free yourself from how you are feeling, you need to do some work. There is no easy fix when it comes to our mental wellbeing I’m afraid.
I’ve put together an easy ‘how to’ guide that you can try out to determine what might be happening inside you that is causing you to feel stuck.
One of the most common reasons you might be feeling stuck is because of a lack of purpose or clarity. Purpose in this instance is the ‘why’ of what you’re trying to do. It applies to all areas of your life. It is not reserved for the existential or spiritual reference to finding your purpose.
When you know the reason why you are doing something, this will keep you motivated. Try reflecting right now, do you have an answer to “have I got a purpose to what I’m stuck about?”
Put everything on this list from work, home-life, relationships (with everyone) and of course, yourself. Go to town with this list, it’s the only time I allow clients to be super critical of themselves. We need to know what’s really going on with you, inside your head.
Make this list as big as you want it. Include things in there that you don’t think you can have like those that are tied to money or out of your control (like having a baby.)
This is about creating your ideal day from when you wake, your morning routine, your commute, your work environment. Include what happens when you get home, your sleep routine etc. Get into the details. When I say details, I mean the type of toothbrush you use and the type of coffee you drink! When you’re thinking about the details, you start visualising, when you start imagining the tastes, smells, sounds and feels, your mind will get excited.
Take some time to reflect on your life and find a point or a few points that you can categorically say that you were happy. Hold on to the thought(s) and analyse what was happening in your life to quantify that happiness. Write it down. If there are activities that you were doing like cycling, colouring, netball, socialising – things you may not be doing right now – write those down.
You have a lot of the content now from doing these tasks. Go through your ideal life and see what you could realistically do. When you’re feeling stuck, this exercise serves to help you discover your ‘why’ or your purpose. Once you can start defining what is important to you, what you like to do you will soon realise what isn’t serving you well. This is the point at which you can start to become unstuck.
This is not the easiest task to do and it may overwhelm you. We often look for the easy way out of difficult situations because the big brands have designed it this way. Mental wellbeing however, does not work like this.
The task may take you deep into feelings of sadness and question your self-worth. Most of this is because of fear. When you get uncomfortable whilst doing the task and you notice even deeper feelings arising, these may be based in past trauma. It is important to work through this with counselling as a way of getting unstuck.
Take the blue pill and remain a slave to the illusion. Take the red pill and become a slave to reality.Morpheus – From the film The Matrix
On the other hand, if fear is what is standing in your way to achieve all the things you want, we can work with this. Fear will stifle you and it is often the main reason why you’re feeling stuck.
When you are ready to make the changes necessary to change this feeling and break through your fears, this exercise will be helpful. Remember that as it gets uncomfortable, please keep going. That is where the answer lies to why you’re feeling stuck.
Puja McClymont is a certified Life Coach supporting ambitious women in senior-level roles, entrepreneurs and high profile individuals to be empowered by who they are and what they want from love, life & work.