I’ve been a marketer for over 20 years and in that time, no one asked me do you value yourself? As a marketer my job was to show customers the value of what we were selling. It was easy for me because I believed in what I was promoting. But it wasn’t until I had my breakdown and was asked, if I valued myself that I really started thinking about what that truly meant.
As a business owner, I’m in the business of service. I provide service to my communities, networks, prospective and contracted clients. Within this, my service needs to be of value to you.
Whilst I now know what this means, it hasn’t been easy to understand in this context because I needed to value myself first.
In this article, I’m going to share some insight around how you can value yourself in the hope that you understand yourself better and can make more informed choices as you progress in life.
One of the first areas I like to work with my clients on is their wellbeing. When a new client works with me, they don’t always see the value in this. Understandably, they want to address their challenges head on and get answers. So I’m patient. If I see resistance, I move on to fire-fighting because I know that we’ll be back at wellbeing in time.
To value yourself starts from the inside out. You have to be mindful of what you put inside yourself. From food, drink and energy. If you’re not mindful of these areas, you’re not giving yourself the necessary fuel to create and maintain the reality or life that you say you want. Start here every time and your challenges will be much easier to handle.
This is because you’re setting your physical body up right. You’re paying attention to what’s most important first – your body. Your brain needs nutrients to function. It’s that simple. But simple is boring. And simple isn’t easy. But it works.
Once you’ve got the fuel right and you move your body regularly, you start to create energy that didn’t exist before. You start to regulate your hormones better and treat your body with gratitude rather than taking it for granted. After this, your mindset sets up how you value yourself.
You can moan about your life and choose to be a victim to it or you can build self-awareness and learn about yourself. Moving through trauma can only be done with considered healing. So heal. Take the time needed to heal and do that first. Life will still be waiting for you when you’re done. So many of us want a magic pill but if we just took the reigns and did the work, we’d save so much time and it will feel as though we took that pill.
For every person who says to me that they can’t afford to work with me, I hear the following “I want to do this work but I’m scared, I don’t know if it will work for me, I don’t care about myself enough.”
Sounds harsh right? But it’s true. To actually take back control of your life and do it differently sets the fear receptor into overdrive. Sometimes we even like our misery but won’t dare to admit it.
In times like this, I can’t make you value yourself. That journey has to be yours. You have to decide when enough’s enough and take the help you need. Nobody can do that for you.
How many times in the past few years have you felt fed up with your life? It doesn’t matter the reason, it happens often to you because you’re not focussing on what you want.
When you focus on all the things that you don’t want, you get more of what you don’t want. The theory works the other way too, by focussing on what you do want, you get more of that.
Within this there is self-belief also. If you’ve decided to accept that you can’t have what you thought you wanted, this is true. That’s why it’s so important to do the healing work, learn why you think a certain way and then make a choice to accept that or a choice to move through that.
Most times prospective clients say that they don’t think they can have what they desire and I ask them for evidence. They’re only able to provide evidence by way of their beliefs. So I offer the option of changing your beliefs. What if you deserve to have all that you want? What would that feel like?
Daring to dream can be scary – this is good. But when your mindset is fixed towards a negative outcome, you’ll get a negative result. Have the courage to be supported into new ways of thinking that actually result in providing you with the life you want.
We live such passive lives. In passivity how can you value yourself? You’re a victim to life, society, trauma, experiences and the status quo. I will always offer you another option. Just like in the Matrix, the blue pill or the red pill will define your trajectory. Which one is for you?
It amazes me how many people love the idea of self-development and enjoy learning about themselves. Insights or ‘aha’ moments can be addictive. It’s so affirming to learn why you behave a certain way but to take this further, you need to be open to changing.
Many people actually aren’t open to changing. It’s easier to live passively and choose to be a victim of your life experiences. That’s ok, I suggest you make peace with it and move on from self-development because self-development is about growth. It’s about forward motion. And it’s about aligned action towards what you want.
To value yourself within the choices you make in life, learn to accept the choices you’re making. Don’t seek permission for them through self-development work because you won’t get it. You are responsible for every decision you take. That’s what acceptance is.
Similar to making conscious choices, in order to value yourself, you need to take back control of your life. This notion refers to your daily habits, the people you spend time with, how you show up in the world.
Do you leave people better than how you found them? Are you living as if you’re the only person that exists in the world? If we’re a social species that requires community to thrive, are you living this essential science?
There are countless resources that are available every single day to help you with your wellbeing, your goals, your money, your time, your status, your peace of mind but if you’re choosing not to take action, nothing will work.
Want to value yourself? Take back control of your life and make it better for you. Make it work for you.
You know, every time I speak with someone, I post on social media, I record a podcast episode, I write a newsletter – I do it through love. That might make you cringe, that’s ok, if it does, take it as a sign that you need to do more work on yourself.
I do what I do from love. I give 100% to prospective clients, people I meet, my communities and everyone else who I come into contact with because sharing my wisdom and gifts is my purpose in this world. If I get a return of energy through a paid client, great, I get to support my family and do more of this work and help more people.
Let me tell you a secret. Even though I give, even though I do it without expectation, even though there have been months where I haven’t made any money from work, there is one gesture that makes it all worthwhile.
That gesture is a “thank you.”
Most people who speak with me, take insights from me, get ideas from me, take strategies from me never actually say thank you.
Puja McClymont – certified coach, wisdom teacher, speaker and host of the SELF Care 101 podcast.
As a life and leadership coach, I help mission-driven individuals who are seeking direction, to gain clarity, by expanding their inner awareness through the ancient wisdom teachings of Ayurveda and Yoga; so that they can lead more purposeful and fulfilling lives.
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