Without a doubt, we are all capable of having the life that we dream of but there is one major reason why you may not be changing your situation. In this article I’m going to talk about fear and how it relates to holding us back from changing our lives for the better.
Fear is the number driver for holding you back from changing your situation and it can show up in different guises like this. Fearing the unknown is a common reason not to change something in your life. It is probably the easiest fear to address because the worst that could happen is that you go back to the way things were. Sometimes, that can even be the driver to pursue your dreams.
If you want to leave your job or start a business, the fear of failure can be the main cause of why you’re not changing your situation. Be honest with yourself, are you scared to fail? Whilst I can say it’s completely normal to fear failure, what you need to do is understand what specifically scares you. Then, create a solution to prevent it or manage it if the failure arises.
No matter what you do to change your life, fear is a constant and failure even more so. Changing your situation may not be a pretty or easy move but if you’re truly unhappy with the life you are living, it’s definitely the move to take.
If I had a £1 for every time a client said “but what will people say?” to me when working on their goals, I seriously would be a millionaire by now!
Fearing what people say or think is the weakest of the fears. This fear is about you, your upbringing and your belief systems. In order to change your situation for the better, you must not even bother to consider what other people will say or think. It is your life, your choices and your failures.
Once you start your journey to changing your life, you’ll be quickly surprised at how much resilience you actually do have and you’ll certainly not be worried about other people’s opinions. At the end of the day, their opinions are just a reflection of their own mediocre lives.
Money sits in two camps when it comes to changing your situation. The first camp is that of lack because you’re worried you can’t make money. The other camp is about thinking that you don’t have enough money to take the leap. Firstly, you must look at your finances realistically.
If you wanted to change careers/ re-train/ start a business, to do this full time, you will need some savings to cover your bills. You know how much it costs to run your life but I always say, bring it down to the bare minimum so that you know what your true financial baseline is.
We often think we need a lot more money than we actually do. The baseline to help you change your situation is the roof over your head and food. Everything else beyond those two form luxuries. You can absolutely have luxuries such as travel costs (bus, train, car etc) but be mindful how much you truly need and of course, how much you actually want the change in your life.
This fear truly is down to you and your mindset. If you think your business will not be able to the make the money, then that’s what you’ll get. In order to shift this mindset, you need to move it to one of abundance and you do this by addressing your limiting beliefs. These beliefs are often ingrained from early experiences so addressing them before taking the leap will help you to be more successful.
“In order to change things, you have to change things.” This quote is absolute and one that you should consider if you’re looking to change your situation. It is absolutely going to be uncomfortable to make changes in your life, especially if it’s a big change however, the rewards will be worth it.
Once you’ve addressed all of the fears you may have and decided which ones are manageable, you put yourself in an advantageous position to actually change your life.
So if you really want to, face those fears and just start.
Puja McClymont is a certified Life Coach supporting ambitious women in senior-level roles, entrepreneurs and high profile individuals to be empowered by who they are and what they want from love, life & work.